The only person you are destined become is the person you decide to be.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Today I sit on my porch at my beach house and absorb all the glory of God around me. Setting time aside for me to pray, think, and focus on what you want is a daily ritual for me. I try not to miss a day of improving myself so that I can add value to others.
The first thing one really needs to realize is life isn’t fair. However, if everything was fair or equal, life would also not have any enjoyment. It would be a sea of gray. Everybody the same, producing the same actions, and getting the same results.
When we face challenges or disappointments we can grow and discover our strengths and our weaknesses. During times of adversity, our weakness becoming glaring and we discover ways to cope. I suggest that coping is the strength on your journey toward solving the problem at hand and moves you one step closer to your dreams. It keeps you in the game. When we cope, we are really saying “I CAN DEAL WITH THIS” or “I CAN HANG IN HERE.” Coping forces us to find solutions to what’s really happening in our lives. The problem with coping is two-fold 1) our coping skills may be faulty 2) coping keeps us in the game until we are able to turn our stagnant movement into focused action. But that is where most of us fall short. Coping without action will never move us to our desired destiny.
Through coaching, I have been astonished by just how many people are stuck in the coping mechanism of existing to get by and through another day in a career they don’t like and feel they don’t even know themselves. They do reckless things that reverse their direction away, instead of toward their dreams. I must say, been there done that until I really had an awakening of who I truly was. Don’t let other’s paint the picture of your life to you. Grab the paintbrush and create!
We cope until we truly get to know our innermost self. Noone will have it all figured out. I don’t have it all figured out but through constant prayer and working on me and my personal self-development, I have gotten much closer. Life coaches, psychologists, and others all speak of triggers. Ninety-eight percent of us won’t spend the time or money on ourselves to begin healing the triggers. We just flat out won’t. We will give every excuse in the book, as to why we don’t have either. I’m going to call you out because I had to call myself out. Live and learn.
I called myself out 25 years ago and said I don’t care how much time I have to devote and I will find the money somehow to figure out what triggers or hang-ups are holding me back. It will always be a work in progress but my mentors have told me you are part of the 1%. In truth, I have been bettering myself for 25 years. I am a lifelong learner and a discoverer. True happiness and peace comes when you develop strength and stop coping and start doing. You see I spent tens of thousands dollars on personal development but I jumped around from guru to guru. I’d get motivated or learn a technique. It was helpful but until I grabbed hold of the solutions presented and took action, I was throwing money out the window. I would get motivated for a few months and then bam back to same old; same old. Been there? I will suggest to you stop wasting your time and energy and money until you make a commitment to enlighten yourself, illuminate your weaknesses and strengths and are ready to make a daily commitment to your and a process that works that keeps you moving forward toward your dream life.
This my friends is TRANSFORMATION and is quite different from motivation. Transformation is a continual movement to make things happen in your life. I have learned at age 52. It’s great to see a motivational speaker. They inspire you and make you feel good for a while. It’s great to be part of the fanfare and excitement of seeing them live and in person. Just make sure everytime you are about to go see the next person or the same person again that you had an amazing take away that you implemented. If you didn’t and it was just for the experience of going, did you really get value from the seminar or was it just a fun time?
If you are looking for entertainment or an experience, that’s terrific. For example, I did Anthony Robbins firewalk and wow was that amazing. I’ll remember it for life. Thank you, Tony. His program was terrific and exciting! My problem was when I got home and let life take over. It was as if I forgot most of what he said. Oh, it’s written in a copybook somewhere and that copybook is on a shelf somewhere. And it wasn’t just Tony Robbins, it was Bob Proctor, Brian Tracy, Wayne Dyer, John Maxwell, Seth Godin, Jim Rohn and the list goes on. IT WAS ME! They are all terrific. But they have worked on and studied and developed themselves. Oh, I still love going to seminars. Some are really wonderful and they are a great starting point. I love teaching at mine from my first book ( and yes I say first because it won’t be my last, Train Your Brain: 5 Ways to Master Your Mindset and Achieve Your Life Gaols.
When I realized that what wasn’t working was I was spending all this money to go listen to people but had to no accountability to myself or anyone else. That is when I thought “Follow One Voice” and get a personal coach for a year and see what happens. Well, I did that 7 years ago and that is what changed my life. I still have a coach myself for my life and business plan and my growth initiative. It would be hypocritical to profess about finding your perfect match in a coach and committing to the process if I didn’t do it myself. Continual education in the field and following advice will lead you to your dream life much soon. I was surprised how I skirted other obstacles and move forward, faster.
One on one coaching led me to the privilege of coaching others to stop coping and start acting. Most people’s faith in themselves to commit is what prevents them from moving from coping and existing into action and living.
Your life will never be the same the day you step out and say enough. I’m going to find someone to work with, so I am more accountable. See I can’t get off track if I have to speak with my coach. There are only so many times he/she will hear I didn’t do what we discussed because…..
When you are truly ready to create Yor Exceptional Self and commit to a process, that is when your goals start to become reality. The dream is gone because you are truly living in it.
Go out there and make a mess with your paintbrush. It will turn into your masterpiece called YOUR LIFE by (NAME).